In The Stillness...

I'm sitting here in my room, listening to all the noises outside; Kookaburras, pigeons, parrots, cars in the distance and the occasional crack of the wood floor that is old and worn. My two windows overlook tall, thick trees that seem to ring of history and steadiness. There's a Kookaburra laughing, a pigeon cooing gently and a mock-jay whistling a calm, morning greeting. Other than that; Silence. Pure beauty. God is in each gentle noise, whispering His promises and love. The Bible says that all of creation will sing of His goodness and that the Earth longs for His return. I can feel it now. He is in the longing, cooing, whistles and very heartbeat of the earth.

Sometimes we search so desperately for a lone voice in the wind when, in fact, His voice is a medley. A beautiful symphony of sounds coming from His creation. How much love does He have for us! He designed the wind to hit the tall grass in such a way as to make a gentle sweeping sound that invites peace and freedom. The trees can gracefully rustle in a late fall evening, which makes us feel a calm surrender, while the crickets lull us to sleep at night with their soft chirps. He designed everything to compliment each other in a harmonious tone. And God comes in the silent whisper in a sacred space of God-appointed sights and sounds.

As I'm sitting here in this calmness, I'm realizing that this is the quietest my heart has been. Maybe when we say to sitting in "silence", we mean soundless. But rather we should mean "stillness". Maybe "silence" isn't a soundless state, but rather a spiritually steady state. A meditation that invites us to silent communion with our creator, that as we all know, is never a true, blank silence.

The word "Meditation" comes from the Latin phrase, stare in medio, which means to stand in one's centre. If we meditate on the Lord in this stillness, we align ourselves to the centre because God is our centre. He brings unity to all our parts, body, mind and spirit. And when we meditate everything we have is focusing and centering on Him. It's in those times that our "Silence" speaks volumes. I think those are moments that this "Silence" opens up doors of pain so God can come and flood those open doors with His love and life.

My Friend.

So I'm sitting here, in a terminal, at a gate, that isn't mine yet. I don't leave until 11:55 tonight and it's only 5:35. Needless to say, I've got quite a bit of time on my hands.
Now there's not really a point to this blog other than the fact that I have time and I have a whole lot of mixed emotions and words that I would love to be able to process with someone but I'm alone. There's not a whole lot of ability to do that. What I would give to have a friend right now. But it's in these times that God reminds me that He's my friend. He's my supporter when everything feels crazy and I'm so weak that I don't feel I can stand. He's my Guide and Director when I am lost in a giant airport with heavy bags. He's my Provider when I have to pay for an extra bag I didn't anticipate. He is my Peace when I find out that my bags are 15 pounds too heavy and I have to change it an hour before we leave. He's my friend. When I'm sitting alone in an airport, writing a blog.  He is everything. There's no role that He cannot fill. There's no desire He cannot meet, or place someone in our paths to meet. He gave us Jesus when we needed something tangible, the Spirit when we need someone personal, and gave us Holy God when we need our God. He's everything.I love that He knows us so well- That when we are overcome with emotion, we can sit in silent surrender and let God take control. The words don't matter. You don't have to find the perfect words or expression. Sometimes the best way to let God in and know you, is to sit and allow it instead of constantly strive for Him. I think often times, we get so caught up in going to the next level with God or in our lives that often, when God stops to show us how to be content, we keep running and leave God in our dust. And then we look back and realize that the reason we couldn't find Him in front of us, was because we left Him in a lesson of contentment behind us. He's waiting for us to turn around a walk back to Him. He's just waiting :)

Anaheim!

Arrived in Anaheim, California! I was telling everyone that I would definitely blog while I'm here but I'm realizing how hard that may be. My thoughts are so incredibly jumbled right now. I'm excited but mostly scared of my next step. I have no idea how to process these feelings or how to react to my circumstances. I'm already finding myself wanting to go into retreat mode and bow out gracefully and then God reminds me that He is in this plan too. He keeps showing me that this is what I'm supposed to do, He gives me peace and assurance, He protects my heart even now while I'm so vulnerable.
It has hit me though. Quicker than I thought it would, actually. I have realized how long I'll be away. How far. How different. But mostly that I'm alone. And I know that the first thing that come to people's minds is; "But you're not alone, you have God!" Yes. True. But it's still very different and not as tangible as a hug from a friend or a house to go chill at to escape everyday life. But still, God is the center of it ALL. He is the clarity in the haze. He's is my anchor. And writing these words just make me see that even more. Listening to some Gungor. Typing a blog. In another state. God is near. He's hear. He's talking to me and He's talking to you.


I don't have much more than that right now...I'm mostly trying to process through blogging ;) Thanks for reading :) Later it will be much more interesting!


Here's a few pictures though-

Outside the Airport

At IHop at 2:30 A.M.!

I accidentally ripped my ticket. Totes Awk.